Fortune Quote

Friday, January 30, 2015

BATTLE, n. A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that will
not yield to the tongue. -- Ambrose Bierce

If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If
it doesn't work, it's physics. And if it doesn't make sense, it's math.

BAROMETER, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather
we are having. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

"Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is
like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew Passion' on a ukelele."

"Backward conditioning: Putting saliva in a dog's mouth in an attempt to
make a bell ring."

BACHELOR: A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

AUTOMOBILE: A four-wheeled vehicle that runs up hills and down pedestrians.

AUCTION: A gyp off the old block.

APHORISM: A concise, clever statement. AFTERISM: A concise, clever
statement you don't think of until too late. -- James Alexander Thom

AMBITION, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while
living and made ridiculous by friends when dead. -- Ambrose Bierce